Unable to repulse

I can’t believe despite my efforts I fell
In love again. I tried god knows I strove
I fought the impelling instinct taped
The mouth of insidious feelings creeping
From my stomach to my vocal chords,
To utter the words. Held my hands
Over my ears shouted not to hear
The echoes of my heartbeat insinuating
That indeed I have plummeted in realms
Where dinning palpitations reverberate
Within a bursting ribcage. Releasing frissons
Tremors on my abdomen stream down
To weakened legs as cerebral synapses confuse
My resolve spilling chaos a broken jar of jam
A topsy-turvy traffic jam of mixed emotions
Shooting in all directions, lost in wonderland
I ignore mine. I swear I tried, to play it cool
Pretend I was not moved, imperturbable I had
My witty comments my arrogance to keep
A safety distance failing to realise, the lights
Had turned from red to green. Klaxons behind
Induce me to press reluctantly on the accelerator
Straight into your arms, omens of an accident
I attempted to avoid. Ran over the magic rabbit
Lost the brakes and my control a rollercoaster
I gasp for air short of breath you asphyxiate me
With a mouth-to-mouth resuscitation a kiss
I am unable to repulse.
[Featured painting: The balance by Christian Schloe]